Saturday, November 30, 2013

A Parliament of Crows


These are the Hyde Park crows. They come to roost around dusk at night, not always in the same place. You can always here them come in and settle down. There's usually at least forty to fifty of them. They are, to put it mildly, CREEPY AS FUCK.

Inside it is much nicer:


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Why Hockey Players Are Amazing/Insane and Pet Peeves: You Are Not A Monolith

Last night in Vancouver Daniel Sedin was high-sticked in the face and pulled out a tooth on the ice (he showed it to the ref, who was unimpressed and refused to up the penalty from 2 to 4 minutes, because there was no blood (this is more or less a real NHL rule)). There have been a number of tooth-pulling-out instances in the NHL so far this year (more than most years, it seems). My favorite so far, however, has been this one from a few weeks ago. Pascal Dupuis was miked up at the time. Check out the video. Make sure you listen to the audio.



Here's what I love about this video: everything. I love everything about it.
1. First, he nonchalantly describes to the trainer what happened "I lost all my teeth again."
2. AGAIN.
3. The trainer, who is totally unphased, suggests he pulls them out so he doesn't swallow them. Well known hazard of having your teeth knocked out. I guess. Notice that at no point does anyone suggest he leave the game or even adjourn briefly to the locker room to get Novocained or whatever.
4. He pulls them out. Look at his face. I guarantee the faces of 99% of people who watch this video register more pain than Pascal Dupuis.
5. Actually, this is my most favorite part: "Alright." That's it. Insert mouthguard over where teeth used to be. Back to business. I exhibit about 5x more drama than this when I get a paper cut. Probably about 20x more if I stub my toe. For Pascal Dupuis, pulling out his own teeth is a minor distraction. This is why hockey players are the best.


Pet peeve for today: Just because you are at the bus stop doesn't mean you are allowed to stand like a pillar in the middle of the sidewalk. Other people are walking on it and do not want to play early-morning-obstacle-course with you. (I promise not all my pet peeves are pedestrian-rights related, although I spend a lot of time walking around the city, so actually a lot of them are.)

Monday, November 25, 2013

Pet Peeves: Scuttling

In a new feature that runs all day, most days, I will discuss my pet peeves. Today we talk about people who scuttle across the street at crosswalks. They see a car waiting, and they break into an awkward scurrying run, glancing guiltily at the driver. Don't do that! You look ridiculous, and also you have no reason to feel guilty. You are a pedestrian! You have right of way! Take your time. Saunter. Check out the driver. If he's hot, feel free to wiggle your butt a little bit. If he looks annoyed at your pace, that's his problem. You have an equal right to the roadway, and also the only greenhouse gas you are emitting is from breathing. Even if he's irritated, he won't run you over. Probably. Be proud, pedestrians! Don't scuttle.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Things

Hampus Lindholm is the name of a real person who plays in the NHL. He's a Swedish child. I love hockey names.

These are TOO BEAUTIFUL.


And after looking at this recipe I am very close to rushing all the way to Lincoln Park to purchase savory onion jam.